My Grand-Uncle was a man everyone respected. He had a servant’s heart….one that was definitely made of pure gold, nothing less.
When he was blessed with a generous cash gift on his 70th birthday, he took the check and handed it over to a local school to help build the new school wing. That was just who he was.
He was a man who didn’t just spend time reading his Bible but was a man who actually lived it out.
Yes, he was a blessed man. Richly blessed.
With his wife by his side, his life was complete.
Unfortunately life can’t stand still that way.
Over the years, ill-health took over and in just a few years, his wife went home to be with the LORD.
My Grand-Uncle was left alone at the age of 87. You see, his wife was never able to have any children.
They did try to adopt but that didn’t work out very well, so they only had each other.
Sure, there were brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews, grand-nephews and grand-nieces around…
but each one was miles away.
Earlier this year, my Grand-Uncle went home to be with the LORD. I miss him but am happy he’s no longer alone.
He never did want to go into a long term care facility. Our family, I think, waited too long to bring up the topic, so when it was brought up he was adamant and insisted he be left alone in his home.
And that’s how he spent the last few years of his life.
I’m sure he regretted the decision but never did say anything to anyone.
Does my Grand-Uncle’s story sound familiar? Do you know someone who needs/will need long term care in the near/distant future?
3 ways to prepare a loved one for long term care
1. Approaching the topic of long term care is one that is sensitive and definitely very hard, especially if your loved one is someone very close to you. Nevertheless, you need to bring up the “long term care” conversation sooner than later.
Don’t wait till your loved one suffers ailing health or loses his/her better half. Introduce the topic even while they’re in prime health and rational in thought.
2. Be empathetic and bring up the topic with love and care. Make sure the person has a receptive mind and he/she is not surrounded by many people at the time of the conversation.
Remember nobody wants or needs long term care shoved down their throats with an audience watching the “show”!
3. Go prepared with facts.
Do your homework and be ready to spend as much time as the person needs explaining the different options and breaking down what needs to be understood about long term care insurance and other expenses that may arise. If your loved one prefers to explore financial options independently, invite him/her to look through the various solutions Genworth has to offer.
Decisions like these are never easy. They need time, patience in understanding what would be best and yes, a lot of prayer to accept it all.
Have you had to prepare a loved one for long term care? Was it easy?
(Feel free to share any tips)
daisy says
We haven’t prepared for anyone to go into long term care, but I’ve been thinking more about it lately. It’s scary and overwhelming!
Marina says
It is and at times we don’t bring it up because it’s sensitive. But the sooner the topic is broken out, the quicker a sound plan can be looked into.
Jennifer Soltys says
OH, he sounds like such a great man!!! This is such a hard topic. I really hope my grandparents never require long term care, but it is a reality… Thank you for the tips!
Marina says
He really was awesome that’s why the end was so tragic. 🙁
I hope your grandparents won’t need it but life is so uncertain.
Pam says
He sounds like a wonderful man, Marina. And yes, I know how hard it is to have this discussion but it is needed, no matter what age.
Marina says
I know right, Pam? You’re never too young to have “the” talk!
Beeb says
I love this tribute to your Grand-Uncle. Such a tough situation to deal with, and one that most of us will have to think about at one point or another, so it is good to think ahead as you suggest.
Marina says
True, Beeb. We learn from others lives and hopefully never have to be in a similar situation. So hard!
Nichol says
Aww he sounded like a fabulous man, so sorry for your losses. My grandma moved here a few years back and while she didn’t need long term care she did need care on a daily basis to help with grocery shopping, errands, sometimes showering and cleaning. Unfortunately, a medical procedure ended her life back in February. We discuss long-term care with my husbands family often as we know time will be here where they are going to need our helpl
Marina says
I’m so so sorry Nichol to read about your Grandma.
It’s good to know you have discussed up ahead with your husband’s family. It must have been hard though…but it is for the better.
Janel says
I’ve been thinking about this a lot as my parents are now in their late 50’s. Very important thing to think about!
Marina says
I know, we want our loved ones to stay frozen in time but sadly that is never to be. Discussing long term care options is definitely an important conversation to have.
Melanie a/k/a CrazyMom says
wonderful tips.. thanks for sharing; it’s never too soon to prepare..
Marina says
I agree. It’s never too early to bring up the discussions!
Marina says
I agree! You’re never too young to have the discussion!
Dawn Lopez says
Your Grand Uncle sounds like an amazing person. These types of conversations are so important, thanks for bringing up this important topic.
Marina says
He was amazing. His life was such a shining example of God’s Love in more ways than one.
Ashley - Embracing Beauty says
Long term care is so important but hard to bring up…thanks for your tips!
Marina says
Yep! Super hard!! But it needs to be done. 🙂
Danielle says
We’re dealing with this right now, with my mother-in-law… but it’s nearly impossible. We did not discuss these things earlier, and now she’s not in her right mind so it’s even more difficult. This is such an important topic that really needs to be discussed earlier, rather than later… when really, it’s too late.
Marina says
Oh no. I’m so sorry Danielle. It’s hard when they’ve made up their mind on something, right? My Grand-Uncle was like that, very fixed in his thoughts. (And I think there was a little bit of family pride in him.)
brett says
my dad is in long term care. he has alzheimer’s disease. he knew it was coming and had planned carefully for it. we’re fortunate. many are not.
Marina says
You’re right. I’m sure he receives the care and attention he needs. My Grandpa had alzheimers and it was so hard.
Liz says
Both of my inlaws needed long term care. It was a difficult mental transition for them, a lot of pride swallowing but they were taken good care of. Unfortunately, they passed within a year of being there, both of them one after the other.
Marina says
I’m so sorry Liz. The consolation is they had each other for company. I think what always stands in the way is pride. My Grand Uncle had a lot of heart but there was also the aspect of family pride as he was the patriarch of the family 🙁
Stefani says
Sounds like he was a great mean. I love this post you have put together.
Maria G. says
We all have to accept all these scary things. Besides, we can’t be prepared to long journey and it may start any time. We have to stay strong and God bless you all people to have happy healthy caring family and long life span…
Andrew @ Mommy's Busy says
So sorry to hear about your Grand Uncle. It’s tough to talk and deal with death no matter how prepared you think you are. Setting up long-term care for many is the first sign that you’re admitting your life is on its way out. Definitely not easy.
Andrea says
I haven’t prepared anyone for long term care yet but I plan to do so when my mom gets to the elderly years. Right now she’s still young and healthy, thankfully.
diane says
This is such a hard topic to approach our parents and grandparents with. They dont ever want to admit that they may not be independent in a few years.
Leah says
If something would happen to my mom, he would probably have to get some sort of long term care. He can’t drive due to his macular degeneration and I just don’t think he would do well on his own. We haven’t discussed it with him or my mom yet, but it does make sense to start now so everyone is on the same page and knows what to do if/when the time comes.
Tiff @ Babes and Kids says
No doubt that these conversations are hard to bring up and hard to have, but I’d be willing to bet that those that do have the convo are glad they did. Long term care is something that needs to be discussed with loved ones so that we are prepared for the future. I haven’t personally had to prepare a loved 0ne for long term care, but I don’t doubt that it will happen in the near future. Thanks for the wonderful tips.
[email protected] says
That’s sad. I just can’t imagine having that conversation one day. But, I know that we’ll have to. I think you’re right that having the conversation BEFORE you need to, is the best idea. Thanks for the tips!
erin says
My husband’s great grandmother went to a facility, she was over 100 years old, she seemed happy. She just passed away last month. On my side of the family, we bring our older family members into our homes so they can stay with family.