The dreaded “F” word!

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At times when God speaks, it’s a still small voice…sometimes even a whisper. And it’s at times like these that He invites us to be still and know that He is God (Psalms 46:10).

Join me as I share with you God Whispers that have that sustained, strengthened and encouraged me on my journey to be the Mommy and Wife God wants me to be.


The dreaded “F” word!


Last Christmas, we had my side of the family visiting us for 2 short weeks. Every moment of that holiday was to be savored considering my family stay on the other side of the globe and any time with them is precious. Just before their arrival, a distant cousin of ours from up North, suggested visiting with us around the same time. We agreed assuming he planned to stay just a few days but no, he decided he’d invite himself for the entire duration of my family’s stay.


Now don’t get me wrong, we do love having family and friends over at our place but this particular guest turned out to be my holiday nightmare. Each day we worked our schedules around accommodating him. Plans we’d chalked out with my family were dropped because he was around.


Sure, he helped around with the odd chores but other than spend practically all his waking hours stalking the Facebook friends on his list, he wasn’t really part of the daily synch. What took things too far was when he over-stepped the fine line of decorum and behaved a little too “friendly” with his other cousin. My family didn’t divulge too many details during their stay here as they didn’t want the situation to be awkward but after they left the can of worms was opened.


I was furious! Irate! Angered! How dare he?! What was he thinking?! First this “guest” piled on comfortably for close to two weeks and then had the audacity to act fresh. Ugh!

To add fuel to the fire, after he left we haven’t heard a peep out of him. No courtesy call…nothing!


For the next few days I boiled within and the growing resentment towards this cousin started to eat into my peace. I knew I had to deal with it before I became a Mommy wreck.


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I began to ask God to help me deal with the pent up fury. During the next few days, each time I’d switch on the television to listen to Joyce Meyer preach it seemed as if she was preaching each message to one person…me! God used her to show me how He NEEDS me to forgive this individual not because he deserves it but because unforgiveness would hold me captive to unrest, bitterness and mood swings.


I learned that I needed to trust Him on this. I needed to let go of all the “Aaaaaargh” thoughts and feelings I had towards my cousin and trust God to deal with the situation and with his actions. It wasn’t easy but I decided to take that step of obedience and yes, embrace that dreaded “F” word…FORGIVENESS.


As I began to do this each time a “furious” thought popped up about him, I’d pray. At first it was a struggle but as each day progressed, it became easier.

Today I can say I’m grateful I’m not a captive to un-forgiveness because in the end, it’s a powerful captor in one’s mind that doesn’t consume the person who has caused grief but the one who harboring those thoughts of anger.



The situation you are in today may be nothing compared to mine. The harm or wrong done to you may be un-forgivable in the world’s eyes but irrespective, God asks us to turn it over to Him…LEAVE IT at His Feet and pray His Heart of Forgiveness into your life.

It means swallowing a big chunk of your ego and you won’t see the change over night  but over a passage of time, you will know that God has filled your heart with His Peace.

Trust me, the peace and right standing with God is so, so worth it!


The choice is yours. What will you choose?


“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven;
(Matthew 5:43-45a)



  1. I love that quote in the picture!! I need to think about forgiveness more like that! Thanks for sharing!

  2. The saying is sooooooooooooo true! It is amazing how much easier the healing journey is when you place the outcome in God’s hands and you forgive. Thanks…..if you don’t mind I want to post on my blog the sign!

  3. Great post, and I love the quote on the sign as well. I’ve never thought of forgiveness as letting the other person live in your head, but it really is true.
    Thanks for the reminder that forgiveness is always what’s best and it’s what God expects of us.

  4. This was so helpful to me. I am on journey of forgiving what seems to be the unforgiveable. I get so discouraged that it isn’t happening more quickly. I love the sign and will use it as a regular reminder that it is for my relationship with God that I must forgive. Please pray that God will empower me to do what I can’t do myself.

    1. It’s hard Roxy. I know how hard it is to forgive and without His Help harder still. Just keep trusting Him to take away the hurt, pain and bitterness believing that He is able. Each time thoughts of the past come up to “remind you”push it away and remind yourself that you gave it to Him and He will avenge. Over time it DOES get easier. Be strong. ((Hugs))

  5. Lucky for me, God used my husband and family and friends to point out my destructive thinking and lovingly encouraged me to give it to Him.

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